Changing

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."



I am firm believer that people change. I am by far the world's best example.  If you met the 14 year old Sherika you would have met a girl who hated people, if she didn't like you then she wouldn't speak to you, a girl who said exactly what she thought, a girl who would give no one a chance, and a girl who did not believe in love.  Today, well I still am not a people person, but I speak to almost everybody, I hold back a lot, I am way to nice to people, I give people way too many chances, and I believe in love. So see, I have changed...and mostly for the better. I have grown up so much in the eight years between now and then.

I am also a firm believer that no matter what happens, no matter how much people change, you can always remain friends. Take me and Amy for an example.  We met in elementary school, played ball together, I broke her wrist, we went to middle school and high school together, and I when she asked me to be her bridesmaid I jumped for joy and told her I would do whatever she needed me to.  See, we both have changed SO much and look we still remain friends.  No matter what happened over the years, I always knew that she would be there when I needed her.

But what if people change the other way? Can you still remain friends? This has been on my mind a lot lately.  What if one day you wake up and the person that was your best friend for years suddenly isn't the person you grew up with? It makes you wonder, has this person always been like this? Or is it because the person they are with has changed them so much that you don't recognize them?  What happens when you have lunch with that person, and realize that they have no idea what you have been doing the past 4 years? And when they ask you why you never told them all the things that you have done you answer with "Well you judged everyone else who did it and I didn't want to be judged." What hurts the most is knowing that you did so much for that person, maybe more than people realize, and that person never acknowledged it.  And now when you need that person, they are no where to be found.  It makes you questions your friendship.  And when does a friendship end? And how can you tell when it does?

These are just a few questions that I have been running through my head.  I guess it is hard for me to understand because one, I am way to loyal to my friends and two, I admit to my flaws and the fact that I change.  Sigh.  It is just crazy at how much my life has changed.  I love it though.  I love all my new friends and the old ones who still remain by my side.  I am not going to say that there isn't a single thing I wouldn't change, because lets face it, there are a tons. I wish I was already married, I wish I had a job, I wish we had new house, I wish for a new car, I wish that certain things didn't bother me, and sometimes I wish that I was that 14 year old girl again.  But I don't have all those things, things do bother me, and I will never be 14 again.  All I can do is wait patiently for the new things that will change me and my life, and try to understand why certain people change for the worse.